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I
wasn't raised in monetary wealth, nor was I raised in greed or desire
to overachieve. I was raised by Christian parents with simple wants
and needs. Like many children, I was taught to work for the things
I wanted and learned to appreciate the fruits of my labor;however,
somewhere in the process of working to get the things I wanted,
I wanted more than my parents had and most definitely more than
I needed.
In
an effort to have more, I often worked two jobs to enjoy things
that I felt would bring me greater happiness. I found myself living
my days working and buying and working more and buying more. It
took several years for it to dawn on me that I wasn't truly living
and I certainly wasn't happy. I kept myself busy every waking moment.
I always needed to find something...anything to occupy the very
moments that I should have been embracing in peaceful solitude.
Upon
realizing that there was a greater joy to be had, I immediately
began to make some changes in my life. Some may question, how I
knew there was something different out there. I can only say that
it was a gnawing feeling within myself. It was like a whisper that
was always trying to tell me something. It was unhappiness that
couldn't be filled with anything purchased. (how I tried though...believe
me I tried)
I
recall a moment of sitting in my livingroom and looking around at
all that I had worked for in recent years. I owned many fine things
and a home anyone would be proud of, but what did it matter? I knew
there had to be a way to attain inner and outer harmony in my life.
My
journey began with saying NO. Limiting the activities that partially
bound me into the viscious circle of sameness was the beginning.
I was spreading myself too thin and it was time for it to stop.
Next,
I learned to rid myself of toxic relationships. I was allowing unhealthy
relationships to wear me down. It wasn't easy, but I cut contact
with anyone that didn't somehow encourage and support me.
The
next step I took was leaving the job that tied me into many obligations.
This was difficult. I had worked so hard to gain the position that
I had, but if I was going to make life altering changes, I knew
that this was the one big thing that truly was the core of the very
lifestyle that I wanted to change. It was financially fueling my
burnout and thus contributing to my unhappiness.
During
this journey of mine, I was fortunate to meet my husband. We often
discussed my unhappiness and past decisions that I had made and
things that I was attempting to change. I admired his simplicity.
It was refreshing to meet someone that wasn't consumed with running
in the ratrace.
Shortly
after marrying, we found ourselves in financial crisis. In making
so many changes in my lifestyle, I was then faced with the reality
of how much I had been burdened with and how much work I had taken
on to keep up that lifestyle. We were faced with making even larger
changes. It was time to rid ourselves of the big home, the brand
new car, the ridiculous luxuries that I had built around myself
in an effort to identify who I am in this world. It was time to
sell collections and fine things in order to eat and pay debt.
It
was through this crisis and the selling of my belongings that I
felt more free. During this time, I adopted a very frugal lifestyle.
We discovered creative ways to stretch what money we had and although
times were tough, I was happier than I had been in a long time.
It
was during this time, we planned our first child. It was difficult
to not want to work more in order to have more. I struggled with
guilt and finding my place in my new role as wife and mother. I
had made considerable changes to my life and the adjustment to it
was not an easy one. There were often times that I wanted to make
more and provide more, but we stuck with our goals.
Through
frugality, I learned many things. It taught me to be more aware
of my consumption and also taught me to separate my wants from my
needs. I felt empowered for the first time over my finances, while
at the same time learning to appreciate a more simple life.
My
husband was then offered a new job, so we relocated. This would
have a major impact on our family and our future. The greatest outcome
of this was letting go of many material possessions.
Many
speak of decluttering and organizing. I suppose you could consider
it decluttering. Most of our possessions were in storage and we
moved onward with some basic possessions.
We
moved into a very small space that didn't lend itself to being stuffed
with anything that wasn't necessary. I did sometimes miss my belongings
and having more space.
Then
a pivotal moment ocurred. I experienced the death of two family
members. This had such a profound impact on my entire perspective
of life. I watched as family members scrambled in greed to get any
scrap of money and things that they could. In their greed, they
were able to acquire my belongings that I had in storage. In my
grief, sorrow, and anger I realized that there was a fundamental
difference between me and "them". That being that my experiences
motivated me to become a better person and to search within myself
for balance and embrace and appreciate what I had that money could
never buy. Greed, jealousy, and material objects controlled their
lives.
I
don't think it's bad to want things, nor do I profess that I never
purchase things that I don't need. I can say that I make a deliberate
and conscious effort to live a more gentle and simple life, but
my journey has just nearly begun.
Our
family is currently in a small midwestern city. We have pared down
our lifestyle to suit our family. I feel grateful for lessons learned
while my children are young, so that we are able to teach them the
value of simple living.
This
website is a reflection of our personal documentation of the next
stage of our personal path to reach our goals of simplicity.
I
believe there is a point where what you have is enough. If you can't
feel greatly blessed and enjoy what you already have...what point
is there to it all?
I
believe I am at a point in my life where there is greater joy in
my own integrity, bonding with others that I care about, having
empathy for others less fortunate than myself, praising the beauty
that surrounds me daily, reconnecting with the earth and being closer
to nature, exploring my own spirituality and being mindful of each
moment that I have and living in that moment.
In
closing, all I can say is that there is something immensely joyful
and satisfying with the lifestyle changes we have made in our family.
I know it will take my entire lifetime to get to where I want to
be, but I am thrilled that I realized this when I did and am on
the path of my own choosing, free from the things that once enslaved
me and living what I consider to be a quality, authentic, and purposeful
life.
Make
the time for what truly matters.
I
have learned by some experience, by many examples, and by the writings
of countless others before me, also occupied in the search, that
certain environments, certain modes of life, certain rules of conduct
are more conducive to inner and outer harmony than others. There
are, in fact, certain roads that one may follow. Simplification
of life is one of them.
~Ann
Morrow Lindbergh (Gift from the Sea)
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